I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Fuck appropriateness.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize