i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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