chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
