Jerry, you need to find god
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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