so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
