i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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