so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to make out with him forever
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
