Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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