I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
