you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
