you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
