used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
