I wish I could punch you in the face.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
