A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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