Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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