Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
