I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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