We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
