my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
