I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
