You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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