people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize