Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
