Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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