Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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