I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
