I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
