its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
