at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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