I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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