Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
