you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
