my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
