I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize