I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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