Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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