I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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