he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
