he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
