Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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