I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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