Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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