just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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