Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My liver just had a heart attack.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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