no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
