Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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