Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
