so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
