You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
