Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
