Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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