Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
