Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
