gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
