Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
