Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He better not be in your backpack
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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