come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
