He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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