I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
