Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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