What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
NoShamevember. You game?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
