So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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