The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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