We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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