Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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