Sry I called you an 8
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Who wears a wallet chain?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
