Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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