What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
